There For Her Read online

  If she was mine…

  My heart constricted in my chest. There had been nights where I’d laid awake wishing I’d gotten knocked up by someone better but I tried not to think about it too much. There was nothing that could change it. Maybe it was bad for me to see a good guy in her nursery, setting up her crib, making me wonder how things could’ve been different.

  “How long are you taking for maternity leave?” he asked, screwing pieces of the crib together, jerking me out of my head.

  I wrinkled my nose, my least favorite subject. I hated to think about how little time I’d be having. “At least six weeks… I’m going to try to make it more like eight or ten… But I also can’t totally drain my savings.”

  Nic scoffed, shaking his head. “That fucking blows. You should take at least a year off. This is why people are fucking married when they have kids; two incomes makes staying home manageable.”

  I didn’t say anything. He was right. I’d been irresponsible. My IUD had dislodged and I never noticed. I hadn’t checked it like I should’ve and look what happened. Now I’d be sacrificing time with my child because I couldn’t afford to stay home. Whoopdefuckingdoo.

  “I’m sorry,” Nic said, looking my way, “You know I didn’t mean it like that… I just meant… If you had a good partner with a good job, you could stay home for a while.”

  I nodded, pulling at the ends of my hair. “I know you meant.”

  I thought about it every time I considered my maternity leave paperwork. It was going to kill me to leave my newborn with someone else while I went back to work.

  “You know,” Nic said, finishing three sides of the crib and working on the fourth, the whole thing coming together before my eyes, “I’ve never really thought about having kids… But, I’ll tell you what, I would’ve been damn lucky if she would’ve been mine.”

  I laughed under my breath; it was easy for guys to say whatever they wanted like they knew what it was like. “Don’t say that. No one wants an unplanned pregnancy. Hell, I didn’t. If someone asked you if you wanted a kid in a few months, you’d say no.”

  He set down the screwdriver, holding up the sides of the crib, thinking. “You’re right, that’s what I would’ve said… but…”

  I waited as he paused, hand in the air looking for the words.

  While he struggled for the words he wanted, I took it all in again. It was such a relief to have him helping with the crib, a weight I hadn’t realized that had been on my shoulders, but it slammed into me like a freight train when I realized, yet again, that I’d be doing this completely on my own. I wouldn’t be having help every night; I wouldn’t have anyone to take over when I was exhausted.

  Nic laughed under his breath, shaking his head, maybe wondering if he should say what he was thinking. I opened my mouth to change the subject when he spoke.

  “I wish it would’ve been me that you’d been with… If she were mine, things would be very different,” Nic said quietly, running a hand through his hair, “I know it’s fucking crazy and I can’t really explain it… But Alex has been gone for a long time, it’s like he doesn’t exist anymore. To me… she’s not his kid, she’s just yours…”

  He tapped his fist on the top rail of the crib. “I guess I’m just jealous that both of you aren’t mine…”

  I was barely breathing, my heart constricting in my chest. A kick to my ribs reminded me that I needed to keep breathing, to keep the oxygen flowing to her.

  “It’s not fair of you to say things like that to me,” I squeezed out, avoiding his eyes, “Don’t you know that I wish things were different? But they’re not… It’s not fair of you to rub it in my face how things could’ve been.”

  Nic frowned, leaning the unfinished crib against the wall, lowering himself to the floor at my feet. The feeling of having him so close was overwhelming, hormones surging through my veins.

  “Is that what you think I was saying?”

  Tears welled in my eyes, uncontrollable. “That’s exactly what you were saying.”

  He chuckled sadly. “No, Brenna, that’s not what I was saying… I can’t explain it… But I can’t stop thinking about you… I have some kind of weird fucking primal instinct to be with you. I wish… I want you to be mine, I want her to be mine.”

  He took my hands in his. “I always liked you but you were with Alex so I just let it go… But seeing you on my front step the other day, something about seeing you kicked this need I had into place… This is where I want to be…”

  I didn’t speak. My hormones and pulse were racing, my eyes stinging from holding back the emotions stirring behind them.

  “You don’t want a whale like me, trust me,” I managed, shaking my head, not able to believe that this handsome man had any interest in me.

  Nic laughed, tapping my knee. “Are you fucking kidding? Brenna, you were gorgeous before… Now, you’re fucking stunning. You making a human being, for crying out loud, how could that not make you even more amazing?”

  I stood up from the rocking chair, shaking my head in disbelief. “You’re just saying all this”

  Chapter 2

  Nic

  Brenna tried to move past me but her belly got in the way. I ached for her to believe me; I ached to touch her.

  I carefully cupped her face and kissed her, lips gently brushing hers, her belly grazing my hips. She didn’t stop me. Her hands tenderly touched my elbows, sighing into me, unable to stop herself.

  I pulled away and touched my forehead to hers. “I want you, Brenna. I can’t explain it but I can’t fight how badly I want to be there for you, how much I want to kiss you.”

  She murmured against my lips, eyes closed. “This is crazy.”

  I kissed her forehead. “Don’t I know it… But I can’t stop this feeling…”

  I tossed her long hair over her shoulders and rested my hands on either side of her waist. “I need to have you, and her, in my life.”

  Brenna shuddered in my arms. “I think you’re fucking crazy… But you have two months to change your mind.”

  I grinned, kissing her. “No fucking way.”

  Hands on her waist, I pulled her closer, careful not to bump her belly. My hands tangled themselves in her hair, her mouth hot on mine. My erection throbbed in my jeans, feeling like I’ve wanted her for forever.

  It all felt so right.

  Her hands gripped the back of my neck, trying to pull herself closer, her stomach pressing into me, giving in. All I could think about was how just a few days ago, I hadn’t even thought of her. Now, I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.

  I kneaded my hands along her back, down along her spine to her hips. She groaned into my mouth.

  “Oh my god,” she muttered, “That feels so fucking good.”

  My cock throbbed, wanting her to feel even better, needing to take care of her. “C’mon, let’s get you off your feet.”

  I took her hand and led her to her bedroom, sitting her down on the end of her bed. I took her face in my hands and kissed her, her hands feeling for the bottom of my shirt. Grinning into her mouth, I let her slip it off, her nails dragging down my chest to my stomach.

  I had to remind myself to go slow. I wanted to fucking ram her but I had to be careful.

  I kissed down her neck, her hands pulling at my hair. My lips trailed down her chest, needing to explore her. I needed her to know that I wanted her, all of her.

  I couldn’t fight this feeling, unable to ignore it, even if it didn’t completely make sense.

  I pulled her dress over her head, my mouth hot across her skin, licking and sucking the tops of her breasts, pulling her bra off.

  She was so fucking gorgeous, hair falling down her shoulders and onto her breasts like she was a fucking goddess. I couldn’t imagine a life without her. This need for her was more than I’d ever experienced before, it was so strong.

  My hands trailed to the naked skin of her belly, feeling her bump hard and warm under my hands. My cock throbbed thinking about how ba
dly I wanted that baby to be mine. It was fucking primal, feral even, the way I wanted Brenna.

  She groaned, pulling my head up to kiss me then dropping her hands to my belt, tugging on it, bringing me closer. I grinned into her mouth, wrapping my hand in her hair.

  I had to have her so badly it hurt.

  She snapped the button on my jeans, unzipping them and reaching inside, her fingers curling around my cock. She bit my lip, sighing when she felt my length.

  Brenna pulled away, panting, eyes heavy and full of lust. She eyed my cock hungrily, pulling my jeans down, waiting for me to kick them off. The way she looked at me had my cock bobbing, aching for her.

  She grabbed my cock, stroking it firmly, as I leaned over to kiss her, hissing through my teeth. She grinned into my mouth in satisfaction. I reached behind her back and slid her up to the middle of her bed, placing a pillow under her head and under her hips.

  I nudged her legs apart, her hand still warm on my cock, fingers caressing, eyes hungry. She tugged me closer. Lust surged through me, knowing how badly she wanted this, too.

  “Please, Nic,” she whispered. I groaned low in my throat, my cock so fucking hard in her hand.

  I licked my dry lips. “I want you so fucking bad, Brenna.”

  She moaned breathlessly, back arching against the bed, her hips driving up.

  “Please.”

  I couldn’t stand to hear her beg any more.

  Brenna

  Nic stripped the rest of our clothes off in no time. I could see how huge my belly was but all I could think about was how badly I wanted him. I was desperate to feel his hands on me, to feel him sink deep inside me.

  He steadied himself, stroking his cock in one hand, eyes on mine. I wanted him to fuck me hard, to really make me beg for it.

  “Please, Nic,” I groaned again, not caring how much of a whore I sounded like. I needed him.

  He grinned, stroking himself against me. I was so wet it was obscene. He was so handsome and everything he said had gone straight into me, lighting me on fire. I was panting with need.

  He placed one hand on his hip and slid his length into me, hips connecting with me. I groaned loudly, desperate for more. He grunted, pulling my hips closer as he worked his full length into me.

  “Fuck,” he grunted, pulling out and slamming back into me. He leaned over, interlacing one hand in mine, kissing me as he rocked his hips against mine.

  “You feel so fucking good,” he muttered into my ear, my head thrown back against the bed.

  His balls slapped my ass, my belly pressing into his. He thrust his cock deep inside me, the friction building. He leaned down and kissed my neck, goose bumps erupting on my skin. I ached to have him closer.

  Nic picked up his rhythm, a moan falling from my lips. He pulled a leg up on his chest, going deeper, moving me where he needed me.

  “Yes,” I whimpered, writhing underneath him. He grinned with pride, ramming his cock into me harder.

  The tension started building, higher, faster, red hot, the edge a fine line I was getting closer and closer to. Nic shifted my hips and the orgasm hit me unexpectedly, crashing through my body, squeezing tightly around him.

  “Fuck,” I groaned as he continued fucking me hard, amplifying the ecstasy scorching through me.

  “That’s it, baby,” he coaxed, panting. I thrashed underneath him, his speed intensifying.

  He groaned low in his throat, thrusting harder. The once, twice more before he stilled, teeth grit, hands tight in my hair. He pumped his hips slowly, easing himself inside me, shuddering.

  Nic looked up at me, a tired grin on his lips. “Shower?”

  Chapter 3

  Nic

  I watched the water bead off her body, in complete awe of her. I knew now, more than ever, that I couldn’t let her go. I had to have her as mine.

  “Well,” she laughed, “Talk about a service call.”

  I smirked, washing my body. “I still need to finish her crib.”

  Brenna shampooed her hair, turning away from me. “You don’t need to.”

  I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her against me, slick, soapy skin sliding. “I’m finishing her crib, then I’m starting on the rest of her room.”

  She pushed against me, voice low. “You don’t need to do that… You don’t have any obligations here… This was a one-time thing, I understand that… You don’t need to be taking on a pregnant woman.”

  I rolled my eyes, kissing her. “Except that’s what I want. I thought I made that clear.”

  She blushed, pushing me away to rinse her hair.

  “Why is it so hard to believe that I want both of you?” I asked, helping her rinse her hair.

  She shrugged, not fighting my hands in her hair. “Because it’s too good to be true…”

  I turned her head and kissed her. “Well, get used to it.”

  Brenna slathered conditioner in her hair, combing it through with her fingers, the water dripping down to her belly. I couldn’t stop my hands from resting there, feeling the round hardness.

  “I can’t explain why this feeling is so intense,” I murmured, “Maybe it’s some caveman type of thing… The feelings I have for you and for her are so strong. If I couldn’t have you both, it would kill me.”

  She slid her hands over my shoulders, fingers curling around my neck, visibly warming to the idea. “And what would you tell people?”

  I grinned, loving that she was even entertaining the idea, hands sliding over her belly. “Whatever you were okay with. I’d want to tell everyone that she’s mine but it’s really up to you.”

  Brenna lowered her head in shame. “But she’s not yours…”

  Cupping her face, I raised her eyes to meet mine. “I don’t give a fuck what sperm created her. I’m the one who’s going to love her and rock her to sleep. I’m the one who’s going to bring her to you to nurse. She’s mine… And so are you.”

  She kissed me gently, water droplets delicately on her eyelashes. “You sure you want all this?”

  I wrapped both arms around her, pulling her in tight. “You know the answer to that.”

  I dropped a hand to her belly. “You have no idea how much I’m going to love her.”

  Then suddenly, there was a kick against my hand. I looked up at Brenna excitedly.

  “Oh my god,” I breathed, shock running through my system like a freight train, “She’s kicking.”

  She smiled as I dropped to my knees, hands on either side of her belly, willing my baby to kick again.

  “I guess she likes the idea of you being her father.”

  My heart felt like it literally burst. I gazed up at her, radiant and all mine, as our baby kicked again under my hand.

  Epilogue

  Three Years Later

  Brenna

  I closed the door to Stella’s room quietly, she’d started realizing that her new brother was coming soon and it’d been difficult to get her down for her nap. She’d wanted to help set up his side of their room and outright refused to nap.

  Nic sat in the living room, sorting newborn onesies and socks. He looked up as I came down the hall.

  “What worked this time?” he asked, setting down an elephant onesies.

  I leaned back on the couch beside him. At nine months pregnant and ready to burst, I was slow moving.

  “I told her if she didn’t nap and her brother came tonight, she couldn’t come to the hospital since she’d be so sleepy,” I admitted.

  Nic laughed, the sound warming my chest. “Good lie, momma.”

  I smiled as he rubbed my belly. “How’s he doing in there?”

  Shifting my weight, I tried to dislodge his feet from under my ribs. “Hopefully getting ready to come out soon. I’m so uncomfortable.”

  Nic reached behind and rubbed my shoulders. “I know, babe, soon.”

  Stella whined from her room, Nic jumping up immediately.

  “I got it,” he winked, motioning for me to stay there. He pulled my feet
up on the coffee table to elevate them. “Be right back.”

  I closed my eyes. It would only be the three of us for just a little bit longer before out baby boy arrived. I could hear Nic cooing to Stella down the hall, coaxing her to stay in bed and nap.

  Nic was the best father in the entire world. Leading up to Stella’s birth, Nic had done it all: her nursery, installed her car seat, and read every book he could get his hands on. He was so ready for her to make her appearance.

  He was so in love with her when she was born. When the nurse came to file her birth certificate, he was speechless when I asked him if he wanted his name to be listed as her father. We got married four months after Stella was born.

  Now, three years later and due to give birth to our son, he was just as excited. He’d spent extra time with Stella, having her help get her brother’s room ready and gearing her up to be a big sister. I couldn’t believe how lucky I was.

  Four Days Later

  Nic

  Stella sat in my lap, carefully “holding” her new brother with me.

  “Daddy, he’s so perfect,” she cooed, gently stroking head.

  Grinning, I leaned down, my heart bursting every time I heard my little girl call me daddy, and kissed the top of her head. “He is perfect, but you’ll always be my first baby.”

  She held his hand carefully, all her attention on him. “Shhh. He’s sleeping.”

  I smiled, my heart literally bursting with love. She’d been so excited to be a big sister. Brenna watched us quietly from her hospital bed, resting. After fifteen hours of labor, she needed it.

  My in-laws knocked quietly, carefully tiptoeing in to take Stella for lunch and then to the park.

  Stella kissed Henderson carefully, then waited for her grandmother to lift her up to kiss Brenna goodbye.

  “Bye, sweet girl,” Brenna cooed sleepily, Stella putting her finger over her lips for her to be quiet.

  As I handed Henderson to Brenna, I was careful to cradle him in her arms, still fast asleep. I sank down on the chair next to her, the one I’d practically lived in for eighteen hours.